Hangover

Well that was dumb. Spent all day hungover and feeling shitty. Got pretty banged up from when I fell in the garage. Bunch of stuff knocked over too, I must have done a number. Finally starting to feel better. That's alright, I'm a night person anyway. Didn't get shit done today but sometimes you need to waste a day. Not necessarily hung over and laying in bed, but I've still got tomorrow.

Mom signed off on her new house. She's leaving on Wednesday. Bye bye NY. That's our last connection to Oz other than a few aunts/uncles and old memories. Bill's flying back next Thursday, so I've another week of trying to fix my head. I don't know how to fix me. I don't think there is a fix. Just box it all up and hope it doesn't pop up at bad times.

Might feel better physically but still have no ambition. Might try to write later. Gotta hunt down my grocery circulars for the week. Need to get out of the house. Have a prescription to pick up anyway. Need milk and some vegetables. Maybe I'll make something for the nurses at work on Thursday. Bread or something. It'll give me a goal if I make for others. Pretzels maybe? Bercie's been bugging me, nicely, but inquiring. And I really should mow the lawn. Sicked out of it today. Just need to stop moping. He's dead. That's it. I spent more time with Pete and it hasn't bothered me. Kind of surprised Pete lived as long as he did actually. I did get a hold of Kate finally. She's well, still on the Fierro Rochers. As much as it changes, it all stays the same.

As I'm holding a copy of the DNR I'm considering signing. I have to ask around. Just because I have one doesn't mean I don't want any/all treatments and I've heard horror stories of letting patients choke to death on a sandwich or not treating a simple infection. If I have a heart attack or stroke, just let me go, but I want to keep going as long as I can with minimal pain and suffering.

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Got some stuff done today. Picked up more meds and mowed the front garden. Got some groceries and cleaned up the kitchen a bit. Still feel... not right. Like stretched too thin. Maybe from drinking? I drank damn near half a bottle and I've not the tolerance for it anymore.

Finding the best stuff online now. I don't think it's Terry's tape either. I've still got Terry's video here somewhere. Haven't found the bit where you yelled out about Burger King. :( Only you.

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Found a video of Shelby and his kids in 1997 with Mixer singing. God above.

And to tell you how weird things have gotten, the Destroyer show has been remastered and it's just up for free on the 'net any time you want to listen to it. LTTE's probably somewhere. I still think I'm the only one with the Arizona show. Gah, maybe Luis Rey. I still have his book too, all worn and thumbed through, brown with age. Ya know, hang on, we traded didn't we? Not on a tree or anything. I don't think you were on my side after I started being a branch. Huh. Back to the stacks.

I mean, c'mon. Where would we have been in the 90's with this just a few clicks away?

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... And then I went down the rabbit hole. It's good to see you with some weight on you, but I liked the long hair better.

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I think Pouya was recording in the hotel room, wonder where he is and if he still has the tape.