Baking Fail

Aug. 6th, 2015 02:50 pm
soobiebear: (BlackCrows)
Tried to make these last night as per the recipe given and they pretty much failed horrifically. The taste was ok, but the directions are shameful. Going to have to re-work it.

Chocolate Frosted Sugar Cookie Bars

Yield: 9 large bars or 16 smaller bars

Prep Time: 25 minutes

Cook Time: 25 minutes

Total Time: 50 minutes
For the sugar cookie bars:

1 3/4 cups all-purpose flour
1 1/2 teaspoons cornstarch
3/4 teaspoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon fine salt
1 stick (4 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
2 ounces cream cheese, at room temperature
3/4 cup granulated sugar
1 large egg plus 1 egg yolk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

For the chocolate frosting (double all this):

1 1/2 sticks (6 ounces) unsalted butter, at room temperature
1 1/4 cups powdered sugar, sifted
1/3 cup cocoa powder, sifted
3 tablespoons heavy cream
1 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon salt
Rainbow sprinkles

To make the bars:

Preheat the oven to 350°F. Line an 8 by 8-inch baking pan with foil, leaving an overhang on all sides.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the flour, cornstarch, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.

In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to beat the butter, cream cheese, and sugar on medium-high speed until well combined and smooth, about 3 minutes. Add the egg, egg yolk, and vanilla and beat until combined. On low speed, gradually add the flour mixture and beat until combined.

Press the dough into the prepared pan. Bake for 25 minutes, or until lightly golden brown on top. Place the pan on a wire rack and let cool completely.
To make the frosting:

In a large bowl, use an electric mixer to beat the butter on medium-high speed until creamy, about 2 minutes. On low speed add in the powdered sugar, cream, vanilla, salt, and cocoa. Increase speed to high and beat for 3 minutes, or until light and fluffy.

Remove the bars from the pan using the foil overhang. Let cool. Frost with a thick layer of frosting. Sprinkle with sprinkles before cutting into squares. Serve or store in an airtight container at room temperature for up to 2 days or in the fridge for up to 5 days.
soobiebear: (Susan)
Stolen from Iowa Girl Eats blog.

Was worried about how it would turn out. Soups can be notoriously fickle things. Thankfully this was a winner, the smoky bacon with the poblano and bite of the corn... Delicious. Enough for me to post and save to make again later.

Serves 4-5

2 poblano peppers
6 slices bacon, chopped
2 leeks, white and light green parts only, cut in half then thinly sliced (I cheated/cheaped out and used 3/4 of an onion - still good)
salt and pepper
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 medium-sized potato, peeled then chopped into 1/2" dice (about 1 cup)
2 cups chicken broth
2 cups milk, divided
1 cup sweet corn, fresh or frozen
2 Tablespoons all-purpose flour
fresh chopped cilantro, for garnish (optional)


Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Lightly rub poblano peppers with extra virgin olive oil then place on a foil-lined baking sheet. Roast for 20 minutes, flipping halfway through then transfer peppers to a large ziplock bag to steam. Once cool enough to handle, peel off skin, remove stem and seeds, and then chop (can be done ahead of time.)
Meanwhile, crisp bacon in a large soup pot over medium heat. Remove to a paper towel lined plate to drain, reserving 2 Tablespoons bacon grease in the pot. Add leeks, season with salt and pepper, and then saute until tender and caramelized, 5-7 minutes. Add garlic then saute until fragrant, 30 seconds. Add potatoes and peppers into the pot then stir to coat.
Whisk flour and 1/2 cup milk together in a small dish then set aside. Add remaining milk and chicken broth to the pot, season with salt and tons of cracked black pepper, then turn heat to medium-high to bring stoup to a bubble, stirring frequently. Turn heat back down to medium then simmer until the potatoes are softened, 5 minutes. Stream in milk and flour mixture while stirring then continue to simmer until stoup is slightly thickened, 5 minutes.
Add cooked bacon and sweet corn to the pot then simmer until corn is warmed through. Taste then add more salt and pepper if necessary, ladle into bowls, and then serve sprinkled with fresh cilantro, if desired.
soobiebear: (Billy)
Been a while since I put up a recipe. Like everything else, this was a previously published recipe until I got cooking and realized I didn't have something I needed. So, technically it is mine, while based off of someone else's work. William ate two bowls of it, so it must be good. The 'four' servings suggestion is just that. It won't fill two hungry Americans.

One Pot Creamy Jalapeno Chicken and Rice

Prep time
10 mins
Cook time
25 mins
Total time
35 mins

Serves: 4 or so

3 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoon oil
1½ lbs boneless, skinless chicken breast, cut to bite sized
Salt and pepper, to taste
6 jalapeno peppers, seeded and diced, plus more to garnish
2 cloves garlic, minced
1½ cups rice
2 cups chicken stock
½ teaspoon cumin
½ teaspoon onion powder
½ teaspoon chili powder
5 sprigs green onion, sliced, plus more to garnish
½ cup milk
4 oz fresh mozarella cheese, cubed
4 oz cheddar cheese, shredded
¼ cup breadcrumbs, to top (optional)
Cilantro, to garnish


In a large, high-walled skillet over medium-high heat, melt the butter and oil together. Season the cubed chicken breast with salt and pepper and then add to the pot. Add in the diced jalapenos and saute until the chicken has browned and the jalapeno has softened, stirring and turning often, about 3 minutes. Add in the garlic and saute until fragrant, about one minute.
Add the rice, spices, and chicken stock and bring to a boil. Reduce heat to low, cover, and cook until the rice is tender and has absorbed the majority of the liquid, about 10-15 minutes.
Add in the green onion, milk, mozarella, and cheddar cheese, and stir until completely melted and evenly distributed.
Transfer to oven safe dishes (or keep in the pot, if oven-safe) and sprinkle with breadcrumb. Or douse, as to your preference. Broil until the tops have browned lightly, 1-2 minutes. Garnish with cilantro, sliced jalapeno, and green onion and serve warm.

What I'd wished I'd done:

Used arborio rice instead of just plain white rice. Would give it more of a risotto feel and have the rice be more substantial.
Not de-seeded all the jalapenos, even the garnish. Flavor was great, but there was no typical jalapeno kick. Next time I'll leave a few seeds in there.
soobiebear: (preston)
Oreo/Graham Cracker Crust Ingredients

3/4 c. crushed graham crackers
3/4 c. crushed oreos
5 tbsp. unsalted butter

Cookie Dough Ingredients

5 tbsp. butter softened
1/3 c. light brown sugar
1/3 c. all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon vanilla extract
¾ c. semisweet chocolate chips
1/8 c. white chocolate chips (optional)

Cheesecake Mixture Ingredients

8 oz cream cheese, at room temperature
¼ cup granulated sugar
1 egg
1 tsp vanilla extract

Chocolate Drizzle Ingredients

1/3 c. semisweet chocolate chips
1 tsp. vegetable shortening

Recipe Instructions
Assembly Instructions

1) mix crumbs and melted butter together and spread over 8×8 greased pan. Bake at 350 degrees for 10 minutes.
2) In medium bowl, stir together butter and sugar until smooth. Add flour, then vanilla and chocolate chips. Refrigerate for 15-30 minutes until firm. Then roll into tsp. size balls and return to refrigerator.
3) Beat softened cream cheese with egg and vanilla. Then mix in cookie dough balls with cheesecake mixture.
4) Spread the mixture over the crust evenly and into the corners. This may take some work to have it spread entirely over the mixture. Crush 3 oreos and sprinkle over top.
5) Bake in the oven for about 30 minutes until set and cheesecake doesn’t jiggle. Refrigerate for several hours and then drizzle chocolate mixture over bars. Cool until hard.
soobiebear: (JKeith)
Haven't posted a recipe in a while, but I cooked up something tonight and it was pretty good. Spicy, but good & simple.

Chicken Breasts with Green Onion Chipotle Gravy (2 servings)

2 skinless, boneless chicken breast halves

salt and fresh ground pepper to taste

1 tablespoon olive oil

2 tablespoons butter

1 tablespoon all-purpose flour

3/4 cup chicken broth

2 tablespoons minced green onions

1/2 teaspoon chipotle chile powder, or more to taste (they mean half, I used 1 tsp and it was very strong!)


1. Place chicken breast halves between two sheets of heavy plastic (resealable freezer bags work well) on a solid, level surface. Firmly pound chicken with the smooth side of a meat mallet to a thickness of 1/2-inch. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
2. Heat olive oil in a skillet on high heat until it begins to shimmer, about 1 minute. Reduce heat to medium; cook chicken breasts until browned and no longer pink inside, about 5 minutes per side. Transfer cooked chicken to a warm plate and loosely cover with aluminum foil.
3. Melt butter in the skillet; stir in flour and cook for about 2 minutes. Stir in chicken broth, scraping up any browned bits from the bottom of the pan; cook and stir until gravy begins to simmer and thicken, 1 to 2 minutes.
4. Stir in green onions and chipotle chile powder.
5. Return chicken breasts to the skillet and cook until heated through, 1 to 2 minutes.

I served it over pasta, which helped cut some of the heat. Went well with a nice big glass of iced coke.
soobiebear: (Default)
Because James wanted it, and I have it out. I've lost it several times over the years and the three of us keep passing it back and forth. If I post it here I know I'll have it forever, or at least until the Russkies that own this place move on.

2c white sugar
1/2 cup milk
1 stick butter
1/4 cup cocoa powder
3c oats

Dump all but oats into thick bottom pot. Heat until at a rolling boil. Boil for 3-4 minutes until carmalized. Remove from heat and add oats. Drop by spoonful onto wax paper.

Aah, the taste of childhood.
soobiebear: (Billy)
Strangely, haven't made this recipe today. Made lemon bars and cinnamon buns. But Christy wants to learn how to make bread, and I need access to the recipe from her place.

How to make Bread the Susie Way

You will need:
4 or 5 hours that you won't be leaving home
some clean counter space
2 1/2 tsp yeast
1 1/4c warm water (105-115)
1tbsp powder milk or a spash of regular dairy milk
about 3 cups flour
2 tsp sugar
1 tsp salt
1tbsp olive oil

1. Get the yeast awake by dissolving it in about 1/4 c of warm water. Stir it up a little.
2. Give the yeast a few minutes to do it's thing, it will start getting bubbly.
3. Dump the yeast-brew into the rest of the warm water. Add a splash of milk or powder milk if you want your bread a bit softer.
4. Add your flour, then the sugar and salt. Mix that bad mess up. It'll be sticky and start pulling away from the sides of the bowl.
5. Add some oil, it'll make the crust a bit more crusty. Work that into the dough mix. Might have to use your hands.
6. Put some flour on the counter. How much? Enough to cover it, but not super thick. Just enough so the dough doesn't stick. Keep some flour off to the side, 'cos you'll probably add more as you knead.
7. Take out your fustrations on the dough, adding flour as it starts sticking to the counter. You want to get it tacky, but not sticky. It'll take about 5 minutes and it's a pretty good workout.
8. It'll start getting smooth feeling, like a baby's butt. Keep going for a while longer. There is no such thing as over kneading by hand.
9. Get a large bowl and put in some oil. Put the dough ball into the ball and turn it over, so the oiled side is up. Cover the bowl with some saran wrap and drop a towel over it. Let it rise for an hour or so, it'll start puffing up.
10. Once it's about double in size, heat the oven to 425. Put your rack on the bottom.
11. Dump the dough out back on the counter and punch it down. Don't go crazy and try to turn it into a pancake, just give it a few quick hits.
12. If you're making small loaves, cut the dough in half. Roll out whatever dough you have into a large rectangle, and then roll up like those ham rolls. Roll it around a few times for the seam to seal or pinch it together. Whatever floats your boat. Toss the loaves into greased bread pans or baking sheets, cover again with saran wrap & a towel, and let 'em rise another half an hour or so. They'll puff up again.
13. Take off the plastic wrap (don't forget this one, it makes for rather crunchy bread if you forget). Put the loaves in the oven and bake for 10 minutes. Turn it down to 400 let 'em go for 25 or 30 minutes.
13b. If you want really crusty bread put a pan of water at the bottom of the oven.
14. That's it.
soobiebear: (Billy)
This unwieldy beast comes from Stephan Pyles, great chef with an impressive wine list. Spent a good night there and a good portion of my saved up per diem once upon a time. Keep in mind it took me about five hours to make it at home, and the materials ran about $30. A tiny slice goes a long way.

2 lbs. milk chocolate, such as Valrhona, chopped
1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar
1 cup cake flour
1 1/2 cups egg whites
1 tsp. cream of tartar
1/8 tsp. kosher salt
1 cup sugar
2 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. almond extract

1/2 cup vegetable shortening, plus more for pan
1 1/2 cups cake flour, plus more for pan
1 tsp. baking soda
3/4 tsp. kosher salt
1/4 tsp. baking powder
1 cup coffee
1/2 cup cocoa powder, sifted
1 1/2 cups sugar
1 tsp. vanilla
2 eggs

1 1/2 lbs. cream cheese, at room temperature
4 cups smooth peanut butter, at room temperature
3 1/2 cups confectioners' sugar, sifted
1 1/2 cups heavy cream

1. Make the ganache: Place the chocolate in a medium-size bowl. Bring cream to a boil in a 2-qt. saucepan; pour cream over the chocolate and let sit to melt for 5 minutes. Using a rubber spatula, combine the chocolate and cream. Cover with plastic wrap and set aside to let rest for 4 hours.

2. Make the angel food cake: Heat oven to 325°. Line bottom of a 10" round cake pan with ungreased parchment paper. In a medium bowl, sift together confectioners' sugar and flour; set flour mixture aside. In a large bowl, beat egg whites, cream of tartar, and salt with a handheld mixer on low speed until frothy. Increase mixer speed to medium, sprinkle in sugar, vanilla, and almond extract, and beat until stiff peaks form. Sprinkle half of the confectioners' sugar–flour mixture over egg whites; using a rubber spatula, fold until just combined. Repeat with remaining flour mixture. Pour batter into prepared cake pan and bake until top of cake springs back when touched, 45–50 minutes. Transfer cake to a rack and let cool.

3. Make the devil's food cake: Heat oven to 350°. Grease a 10" round cake pan with shortening and dust with flour to coat; shake out excess flour and set pan aside. In a medium bowl, whisk together cake flour, baking soda, salt, and baking powder; set flour mixture aside. In another medium bowl, whisk the coffee and cocoa powder until smooth; set coffee mixture aside. In a large bowl, beat the shortening, sugar, vanilla, and eggs with a handheld mixer on medium speed until pale and fluffy, 2 minutes. Alternately add the flour mixture and the coffee mixture to the bowl in 3 stages, beating to combine after each addition. Pour the batter into the prepared cake pan and bake until a toothpick inserted into cake comes out clean, 30–35 minutes; transfer to a rack and let cool completely.

4. Make the peanut butter mousse: In a large bowl, beat cream cheese, peanut butter, and confectioners' sugar with a handheld mixer on medium speed until smooth and fluffy, about 3 minutes. Put cream into a large bowl and beat on high speed until stiff peaks form. Using a rubber spatula, fold the whipped cream into the peanut butter mixture; set mousse aside in the refrigerator.

5. Assemble the cake: Using a serrated-blade knife, slice each cake horizontally into 2 layers. Place 1 layer of the devil's food cake on a cake stand and spread 1/3 of the peanut butter mousse over the top with a butter knife. Top mousse with a layer of the angel food cake and spread with half of the remaining mousse. Repeat with the remaining devil's food cake, mousse, and angel food cake. Wrap cake in plastic wrap and freeze for 2 hours. Stir ganache until smooth and spread evenly over the top and sides of the cake with a butter knife. Refrigerate the cake for 2 hours before slicing.
soobiebear: (PeteWay)
Got talking with Wookie and ended up getting the strangest recipe I think I've ever run across. Granted it's for on the road only - Erats, survival food, those nights when you just can't seem to find catering. Plus it's funny. Don't think I'm too anxious to try it but I thought I'd share the joke.

Red Hot Weiner In A Bunk Sock (if you don't know what a bunk sock is, don't ask)

Ingredients: - 1 Hot Dog - 1 Tortilla - 2 Chili Peppers - Sour Cream -

Directions: - Nuke Hot Dog In Microwave For 1 Min.
Remove And Place On A Drumstick -While Holding Drumstick, Sear Outside Of Hot Dog With Bic Lighter.
Remove Hot Dog And Place On White Terrycloth Bath Towel To Soak Up Any Grease.
Lightly Toast Tortilla With Bic Lighter. Spread Sour Cream On Tortilla.
Place Hot Dog And Chili Peppers on Tortilla. Roll Like A Splif.
Serves One. When Finished, Wipe Hands And Mouth With Towel. Return Towel And Drumstick To Where You "Borrowed" Them From.

Much better than Bob Allen's Par Can Pizza recipe. Cheap pizza sucks in any circumstance.


Was checking my lists today only to see a soundboard of Def Leppard Mountainview 1988 pop up. It's listed as A- to B- but I think I'm gonna download it anyway. Also some rare and Demo Ozzy tracks, Chris Isaak, and best of all James Gang from The Reunion Allen Theatre in 2002. Cool stuff all around.


Have dropped William off at the bar. Imagine I'll have to go pick him up at some point later tonight.


Oh! And I have a new toy as well. A digitech RP50 modeling pedal. Pretty damn cool, and a lot easier to work with than the rack mount unit I've got now. Models all sort of stuff - '65 Fender Twin, Mesa Dual Rectifier, AC30, '78 Marshall Master... Tons of effects as well. Going to take some time to sort it all out and program it, but I think I'll end up playing with it a lot. Not the most attractive stomp box I've seen, but it sounds good. Will have to see if it passes the road test.

The parts I needed for the MiniMarshall had to be ordered from Korg so I'll have to go back down in a few weeks to pick them up. Until then the repair project is on hold. Seriously, why do fuckheads destroy good equipment? It's just dumb. Sell it, give it away, horde it in your attic, just don't destroy it.
soobiebear: (Susan)
Trying out a new recipe. Sounds good. The old man is crying that he's not gotten his 'baked good of the month' so I'm hastily trying to whip something up on limited ingredients.

Hot Fudge Fantasy Tart Recipe )
I'm making mine with maraschino cherries. Hope Gore likes them. Still debating whether I should bring them to the bait shop or just send them to his house. The guys at the bait shop will eat them, but then he can brag what a great daughter-in-law he has.
soobiebear: (Margeaux)
Finally got the fudge made.  Goddam it, I've been trying for a week.  That's out of the way and setting up in a pan downstairs.  My shoulders always hurt so much from rolling it outon the marble, but it tastes so good when it's done. 

Made William's Chicken Fried Steak for supper.  He loved it, I felt it was the waste of a good steak. Yuck.  My steak was actually cooked in the middle, coated in a flour/pepper mix like KFC, and greasy as all ger out.  Next time he wants it my steak is going to be marinated like usual and sliced and set on my plate.

Texas Chicken Fried Steak Recipe )

Posted my Secret Santa gift finally.  Online, the Post Office wanted $4.75 to mail it.  I go to the self service machine at the post office, and they charge me $5.15.  ???  It would have been easier and cheaper  for me to print the mailing tag at work, call the little mail carrier for a pick up and be done with it.  They're going to charge me more so I can bring my own package to the post office?  I didn't even use a clerk, I did it myself!  WTF?  I learned my lesson.  Next time, the little letter carrier can pick up the big box with all the cookies for Ohio, load it in their truck, and take it to the post office for me.  How stupid. 

Right, off to pay some bills online and then back to writing.  (cracks knuckles)  How fast can I get these two to screw each other tonight?

Note to Cream Gravy novices: Gravy-making is an inexact science. Cream gravy is supposed to be thick, but if you think its too thick, add more liquid until youre satisfied with it.
soobiebear: (Susan)
Made this tonight from an old Italian Lady's recipie and it was delicious!  Stuck a little to the bottom of the loaf pan, but even the scrap pieces were edible.

1 package active dry yeast
1/4c warm water (110f)
1c warm milk (110f)
1 tbsp sugar
1 tsp salt
2 tbsp olive oil
3 to 3 1/2  c flour (regular flour worked just fine)
Pepperoni, approx 1 cup or to your liking
Cheese (mozarella, provalone, parm, etc) approx 1/2 c or to your liking
2 tsp cornstarch
spare tap water, cool temp
spices per your liking (I omitted)

Add yeast and warm water and let yeast proof a few minutes.  Add mixture of warm milk, sugar, salt and oil to yeast.

Add 1 cup of flour and mix with spoon.

Add 1 1/2 c more flour. Keep mixing. Should form a ball and pull away from sides of bowl.

Kneed on lightly floured surface for 5 minutes (more kneeding never hurt anything - should have elastic texture).  Use only 1/2 to 1 cup flour here, too much flour will kill the loaf.  Dough will be slightly sticky, this is ok.

Let rise for 1 hour in warm place, longer in cooler place, or until double wherever you are.

Punch down and roll out.  The bigger the rolling, the thinner the layers and MORE MEAT!

Spread your toppings like a pizza and roll up Jelly Roll style.  Close off the ends however you see fit (not responsible for stupid human tricks).

Grease pan (I didn't - oops) and let rise again until you can't wait anymore.  Half hour, hour, meh.  I rushed it in a 175F oven for half hour.

Baste with mix of cornstarch and water for browning.  Can also use egg + water mix.  Whatever.

Bake at 375F for 20-25 minutes.  You'll know when it's done.

Some greasier cheeses can bubble during cooking and cause nasty oil burns during removal.  Bread is easier to cut if left to cool first.


soobiebear: (Default)

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