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Writing rant, gets personal
Feb. 20th, 2019 07:45 amUp to 27k now. Still not entirely comfortable with hijacking someone's name the way I did but don't really want to turn it into a MarySue either. It can't be a MarySue with the way the character and families are woven together story wise. Even if I changed the name it would be readily obvious who it was. Even though it's not not her at all.
So much editing needed. I've never really just gotten bits down like this. They're all out of time sequence and now they're just strung together by how I fancied writing them.
Struggling with the p0rn too. I know 16 is legal in the UK and unfortunately, that's how the story goes, but so many places are against it. 18, minimum. I'll have to read up on A03, I've got one 17 year old story there that seems to be permissible, but it also cut-scenes just when it started getting p0rny.
I am having a hell of a lot of fun writing it. Even if it goes no where and I never post it I'm enjoying the heck out of it. It's been part therapy bringing up things from my past as a youth who fell in love with a much older man, and just various other elements of my past thrown in there. It's been interesting to see how the characters react, diverting from how I handled things at twelve or fourteen. I'd say the fictional characters are dealing with their issues in a much better, but still ultimately unhealthy way. I know I still have a ton of issues from my youth about love/commitment/attachment but for the most part I am fully functional. So I think it will turn out ok for the characters in the end. Not sure where it's going. Hopefully not where my relationship is going now. Cancer sucks, but that's what happens when you marry someone much older. MUCH older. Twenty years was twenty more years than people told us we would last, but it went by in the blink of an eye. Twenty years would put the older character at 75, which clinically is a pretty average lifespan.
And I think that's a pretty normal question for the younger person in such a numerically opposed relationship. What the hell did you do while I was in diapers? Or not even born yet? My husband was quite literally whoring his way through the town he grew up in, drinking and smoking and playing in bands, but then he grew up and I was still a toddler. He had so many years of ... searching, I guess. Waiting. Marrying the wrong person because I was in kindergarten. Would it have been different if I had been born at the right time? Or even a closer time? Paul and Danielle worked out, even though she was 14 to his 18. -5 to 18 is a bit harder to work with.
All old questions that will never be answered. They won't die with him when the chemo stops working either, because it will be my turn to go on without him for thirty, forty, fifty years.
My grandfather died over forty years ago, and my grandmother is still alive. She never remarried and I guess just got used to being alone. I hope I can be that strong.
So much editing needed. I've never really just gotten bits down like this. They're all out of time sequence and now they're just strung together by how I fancied writing them.
Struggling with the p0rn too. I know 16 is legal in the UK and unfortunately, that's how the story goes, but so many places are against it. 18, minimum. I'll have to read up on A03, I've got one 17 year old story there that seems to be permissible, but it also cut-scenes just when it started getting p0rny.
I am having a hell of a lot of fun writing it. Even if it goes no where and I never post it I'm enjoying the heck out of it. It's been part therapy bringing up things from my past as a youth who fell in love with a much older man, and just various other elements of my past thrown in there. It's been interesting to see how the characters react, diverting from how I handled things at twelve or fourteen. I'd say the fictional characters are dealing with their issues in a much better, but still ultimately unhealthy way. I know I still have a ton of issues from my youth about love/commitment/attachment but for the most part I am fully functional. So I think it will turn out ok for the characters in the end. Not sure where it's going. Hopefully not where my relationship is going now. Cancer sucks, but that's what happens when you marry someone much older. MUCH older. Twenty years was twenty more years than people told us we would last, but it went by in the blink of an eye. Twenty years would put the older character at 75, which clinically is a pretty average lifespan.
And I think that's a pretty normal question for the younger person in such a numerically opposed relationship. What the hell did you do while I was in diapers? Or not even born yet? My husband was quite literally whoring his way through the town he grew up in, drinking and smoking and playing in bands, but then he grew up and I was still a toddler. He had so many years of ... searching, I guess. Waiting. Marrying the wrong person because I was in kindergarten. Would it have been different if I had been born at the right time? Or even a closer time? Paul and Danielle worked out, even though she was 14 to his 18. -5 to 18 is a bit harder to work with.
All old questions that will never be answered. They won't die with him when the chemo stops working either, because it will be my turn to go on without him for thirty, forty, fifty years.
My grandfather died over forty years ago, and my grandmother is still alive. She never remarried and I guess just got used to being alone. I hope I can be that strong.
