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Bored at work, and my mind has been thinking (not a good thing).
I was sifting through psych journals on MedLine (for sex, of course) and dating all the way back to the Kinsey report it shows that those people labelled as 'ugly' have sex more often than better looking people. This doesn't make much sense until you think about the social realities. 'Ugly' people, and no, I don't know exactly how they defined that, are often left alone to do their own thing and are not pressured to behave 'properly' like more photogenic people. Also, 'good looking' people are often more noticed and talked about than 'the rest of us' leading the 'good lookers' to be more reserved in action. This leads into a whole self esteem cause and effect debate which I will not venture into here.
Basically, in real life, Ugly=Sex.
To relate this to my story, I used to believe myself ugly. It was kind of hard not to with my mother calling me fat, lazy, and dumb every chance she could. I used to be extremely promiscuous in my youth. I would take just about anyone 'cause it was fun and felt good.
Now, I have a caring adopted family who loves and cherishes me for me, and I no longer believe I am so ugly. I'm not going to grace the cover of any magazine any time soon, but I'm not horrid looking. It's been a slow road for the last six years. As my 'ugliness' decreased, my sex life decreased as well. It's not a dysfunction thing, I still have the same 'level of need', if you will. Yes, perhaps a stable partner has affected this variable in some way, but he is open minded and has allowed me access to others when needed. I feel better about myself, but the frustration level is approaching breaking point. I don't think I've gone a month without any sexual activity since I was fourteen.
And having admitted that embarrassing fact, here is my question. Is this normal? Should my libido have adjusted itself to the new 'not-bad-looking' status as well? Should I hire a pool boy? Do I need more cold showers? Is there a pill I can take? Anyone want to shag? Male/female please apply, over 18 only please.
I was sifting through psych journals on MedLine (for sex, of course) and dating all the way back to the Kinsey report it shows that those people labelled as 'ugly' have sex more often than better looking people. This doesn't make much sense until you think about the social realities. 'Ugly' people, and no, I don't know exactly how they defined that, are often left alone to do their own thing and are not pressured to behave 'properly' like more photogenic people. Also, 'good looking' people are often more noticed and talked about than 'the rest of us' leading the 'good lookers' to be more reserved in action. This leads into a whole self esteem cause and effect debate which I will not venture into here.
Basically, in real life, Ugly=Sex.
To relate this to my story, I used to believe myself ugly. It was kind of hard not to with my mother calling me fat, lazy, and dumb every chance she could. I used to be extremely promiscuous in my youth. I would take just about anyone 'cause it was fun and felt good.
Now, I have a caring adopted family who loves and cherishes me for me, and I no longer believe I am so ugly. I'm not going to grace the cover of any magazine any time soon, but I'm not horrid looking. It's been a slow road for the last six years. As my 'ugliness' decreased, my sex life decreased as well. It's not a dysfunction thing, I still have the same 'level of need', if you will. Yes, perhaps a stable partner has affected this variable in some way, but he is open minded and has allowed me access to others when needed. I feel better about myself, but the frustration level is approaching breaking point. I don't think I've gone a month without any sexual activity since I was fourteen.
And having admitted that embarrassing fact, here is my question. Is this normal? Should my libido have adjusted itself to the new 'not-bad-looking' status as well? Should I hire a pool boy? Do I need more cold showers? Is there a pill I can take? Anyone want to shag? Male/female please apply, over 18 only please.
